Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Back to the Grind

As summer draws to a close, and the children return to school, I look forward to the start of the year with an optimistic eye and a pocket-full of resolutions that I will hopefully stick with past Thursday.

Here in Israel, they stagger the first several days of school to get the children used to the new classroom. I myself find it wholly pointless. As it is, 3 out of 4 kids will be dismissed this year at 1:00. That's ONE O'CLOCK. They need 3 weeks to get used to that? Remember as a child when you'd go visit Grandpa and he'd sit on his porch swing with a steaming mug of Metamucil and wax nostalgic about how he had to walk his donkey uphill to school in the snow? Well that's how I've sounded for the past 2 weeks as I've grumbled my way through uniform shopping unnecessary-school-supply shopping, and incessant book wrapping. To their credit, while I ranted and raved the kids have all sat politely and listened while I....HEY! Where did they go?!

My boys' various schedules for the week look something like this:

Monday-First Day Of School from 8:00-8:05. Children will stand outside the building and look at it. They will then receive a cookie and go home. Mom gets to stay for an hour long orientation with speeches as stale as the complimentary borekas.

Tuesday-School from 8:00-8:50-Students may roam the halls, use the bathroom, and play in the school yard. They will then receive a cookie and go home.

Wednesday-School until 10:00am. Students will get to see their classroom and meet the Rebbi. They will be shown their seat, but no actual sitting until Thursday. We regret to inform you that the school budget doesn't allow for more cookies.

This goes on.

And this is just the boys. I have a whole 'nother schedule for my daughter that will either be the exact opposite times to ensure that an entire day is spent on schools, OR the exact same times to ensure that you have to somehow be at 2 places simultaneously. I can barely keep track of my kids even when they all have identical schedules, how am I supposed to keep track of this? Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if my daughter ends up in the Cheder, my sons end up in Bais Yaakov (in uniform), and I forget the baby in the makolet.

Is it summer yet?!

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